People’s pleasures always tend to behave nicely with people around them. They never truly meet their own needs as they seem too busy to please others.
Are you a people’s pleasure? If you’re then it’s quite alarming for your growth as a person. And you need to stop being people’s pleasure. But we have been conditioned into thinking that if any trait of us that makes other people uncomfortable, must be replaced or changed because we assume that we don’t deserve to get our needs met as much as other people do.
This is rooted in us in the form that we become a people’s pleasure. It can cause unwanted stress and anxiety.
We just need to learn these 5 things to avoid being people’s pleasure.
Learn to say “No”
It might be challenging for you to say no to others as you feel it would create a bad impression on the people around you or people might think that you don’t value their needs. But you can say no and still be nice. “If you spend your life pleasing others, you spend your life.” ~Cheryl Richardson. If someone asks you for the favor you don’t need to rush and grab that, just check the favor if it falls out of your boundary line just say no to it. Remember, you’re not saying no to people you’re only saying no to the task. If the person is really close to you, they will understand it.
Take your time
In this busy life everyone is running short of time. When somebody asks for any favor you don’t need to reply with a subtle yes. Newman said “Once you say yes, you’re stuck.” You must ask for some time limit this time limit will help you to think if can commit or not. Ask yourself different questions regarding the task and then take responsibility, but only after prioritizing yourself.
Strengthen your self-esteem
Sometimes we often say yes to people because we fear being alone. But we need to understand that some people are not going to be happy with you no matter what you do for them. So you need to love yourself as a whole. Being loved is a human need, however, being needy is so unattractive. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Don’t look for outside validation. Face your fears. Don’t feel guilty. If you fear losing your friends just by saying no then you deserve better.
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Set your boundary
Setting your boundary feels really uncomfortable at first, but this is the most important thing you need to recall yourself every time when you wanna please others. Listening to others is something you want to do, it’s not like you have to do even it doesn’t go with your values, goals and beliefs. Stand up for yourself and prioritize your boundaries and stay with it. People will eventually start respecting your boundaries.
Ask for favors
You’re also a normal human being. You also might be seeking some help and favors from others. Don’t slip into a guilt trip to ask for help. You can start by asking little favors like a few minutes of someone’s day. These tips will help you to “stop being people’s pleasure”.